So What Do I Tell My Friend

Ok... so other than those who come on here, not that many people know about this side of my life. I mean, there are plenty who knew me growing up when I was definitely not the girl you would bring home to meet mom and dad. However, most of them, I haven't heard from in years as life and such caused us to drift apart. My best friend since high school knows just about everything, including a few things I will never, ever tell dear hubby.

As of yet, he has not been able to get those tales out of my friend.

I have the friends I've made since meeting DH. One or two suspect I've got a checkered past because sometimes an answer comes out to a question that just shouldn't (like the time I explained how lucrative it can be for a dancer at a stripclub but how many people she has to tip out. Not everyone there accepted my explanation that it was because I had a client who I represented over some issue.)

Then I've got a couple of women I mentor at work as part the firm's mentoring program. One of them I actually like. She's late 20s. Married. But very unhappy at home with her husband. He hasn't touched her more than once a week in months. And then, its like its obligatory. In out and off to do something else.

I've met him. I cannot for life of me figure out what she sees in this guy. He's one of those guys who was in  frat and never thought to grow out of it.

So we went for drinks last week (originally it was supposed to be sushi but then her supervisor needed her to complete a project). And yes, it was at that bar. Now, my mentee (let's call her Mina) is a cute little vietnamese girl. Very pretty. Very, very smart (like scary smart, when she figures out the ropes, she's gonna make it hard for them to keep her if they don't promote her at work). But not very good when it comes to social settings. She gets very nervous. I sometimes think she ended up with her husband because she was too afraid to let him get away, even though she really shouldnt've been that desperate.

We were there. We were drinking. And chatting. And chatting with some of the other customers there. One of them clearly took a shine to her. Big time player type in a nice suit. But fun. And g-d I think that Mina needs some fun, especially since her husband treats her like shit.

While I was flirting my bartender friend (who I'm going to call Bartender Buddy to keep it straight) there, this guy made his move on my friend. She was so mortified, but she was polite and turned him down (since he had been polite about it). Mina needed a quick break, so we did the bathroom thing to give him time to get away. In the bathroom, she confessed that she wanted to say yes to the guy, but couldn't. And then she broke down and admitted that she did know that her husband was sleeping with someone else. She wanted to feel like she had the choice now, that she was not just the dutiful wife but a woman who could make her own choices.

She said how she envied my life, how my husband wouldn't get mad for me flirting because he trusted me but that if her husband found out about her being propositioned tonight, he'd be furious.

I asked her why she didn't leave him. She said that she couldn't yet, that she wasn't ready. To which I said it was more time that she was putting off the pain. That she was a strong, intelligent woman, and needed to find that confidence in her own life. As she was wiping her eyes, she laughed and said maybe she'd do it in babysteps and have an affair.  I laughed at that one, and said I could think of a number of guys who would be lucky to help her with that. Then she said "Maybe even that friend of yours behind the bar."

I laughed that off. Not because I'm proprietary about him. But because I'm not sure I want my secrets, or those kind of secrets being known by her. On the other hand, she has become a friend (even before this incident).

So we got a table and talked. Talked guys. Talked her experience with guys. She admitted she'd only been with two. One in college and her husband whom she met in grad school. Both of them had been nice white boys. Well, the first one sounded like a nice white boy. You know my feelings on other one. Anyways, she confessed that what she really wanted was someone who would take control of her in the bedroom and just use her like slut and not like the porcelain doll she's been her whole life. I asked her, of the guys she sees at the bar, which one would she want. She said "Bartender Buddy".

One Of Those Days

It really is one of those days. All I can think about sex.

No that's not exactly it.

All I can think about is fucking.

Dear Hubby's tried to help me with this one. And it helped for a little. Sort of took the edge off.

Then I got to work.